No one wants to fuck their kids up. At least not on purpose. With a first child, come the anxiety.
"Am I doing this right ?"
"Is this how it's supposed to be?"
"Why isn't he doing this by now, the other kids do!"
"What's wrong with him ? I don't understand!
There's a ridiculously copious amount of parenting books, internet articles and magazines. Most of them are crap. Some of them can be useful. And very few of them are simply brilliant. Those ressources are there to show you how your child is supposed to evolve or act and at what age. Usually, these are accurate for 80% of children. But what if your child falls in the 20% that does not follow the "rules". What if your child doesn't sleep through the night or doesn't crawl yet ? What if he doesn't say "mom" when most of the kids his age do ? You start by asking yourself "is this my fault ?".
"Hunny, do you think our son doesn't talk yet because the t.v is on during the day ? Or maybe it's because of the pacifier ?"
"Hunny, do you think he doesn't crawl yet because we're supposed to show him how by rolling around on the living room floor ?"
"Hunny, do you think someday he'll sleep through ?"
"Hunny, why do you think he's grumpy and whiny since two days and nothing seems to help and all hell breaks loose ?"
"Are we shitty parents ?"
No parenting books or articles or even those parenting magazines in the pediatrician's waiting room tell you that sometimes, you simply cannot understand your child.
He'll sleep through the night when he's ready.
He'll crawl when he feels like it.
He'll speak when he'll want to.
And some days, even maybe weeks are simply shitty. You are tired and the baby cries. He's been fed, changed, entertained. The temperature's fine and he won't calm down even in your arms. Why ? Because babies have shitty days, even maybe shitty weeks, shitty nights, shitty naps. And it's ok. But no parenting books will tell you this. And you'll ask yourself when it's 1 AM and you've not gone to bed nor taken a shower in two days "why, oh why did I let my husband impregnate me ?!"
All you need to know is this :
This too shall pass.